Wednesday, July 16, 2014

You're Not Good Enough

You're not good enough. How many of us have heard this and believed it? The answer is all of us.

For women, it looks like this: “You, as you are now, are not worth loving.” A prettier you, a smarter you, a skinnier you, a you with bigger breasts, thinner thighs, a different hair color, more friends, tighter clothes, that is the you worth loving. You aren’t loved now because you aren’t like that, so keep working at it.

For men, the lie is just as virulent. “You’ll never be a man. You’ll never be able to “cut it.” You’re too thin, too fat, too effeminate, not aggressive enough, not horny enough, not strong enough. Prove you’re a man, and then you’ll be loved.

REAL men carry .38 Police Specials
How do men these days prove they are men? Some drive big trucks or shiny motorcycles and blast death metal through their subwoofer. They wear wife beaters and get tattoos and work out in the gym for hours to maintain (or try to get) their biceps and six-pack abs. Some men prove their manhood by fixing things and building things. Others drink hard and play hard, frequent bars and nightclubs, and bed as many girls as they can. It’s a vicious, empty cycle. Nothing on this earth can fill the gaping wound in a man’s heart. 

Perhaps this seems strange to some, as we generally leave men out of the picture when it comes to emotional needs. Usually, “men and love” means the same thing as “sex.” This is a tragedy. Men need real, genuine, self-sacrificial love just as much, if not more, than women do. But as songs like this one by Maroon Five testify, nobody seems to realize the emotional needs of men these days, and any guy who dares to shed a tear or reveal the aching loneliness in his heart is told to “grow some balls” and “man up.

“She Will Be Loved.”

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else…

I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved…

You never hear any songs about teenage boys with broken smiles asking to be loved, Frankly, it would sound silly.

The bottom line is this: men and women need each other. Women need men to tell them that they are beautiful and worth loving just the way they are, and men need women to assure them that they are masculine and strong enough, and that they are trustworthy providers. And before you start screaming about the horribly obvious gender roles and stereotypes I’m pushing, read my previous post.

Ladies, it’s up to us to encourage our men and show them that it’s OK to be emotional. Praise their strength. Thank them when they hold the door for you. Don’t be a feminazi. I KNOW you are capable of doing EVERYTHING just as well as a man can, but for heaven’s sake, allow them to do some things for you. They want to help. Personally, I’d rather bake bread than shovel gravel and chop wood any day (and I'm sure the guys would rather do yard work than take care of the kids). 

"Can we keep her, Steve?" "No, Danno, not with milk costing 4 bucks a gallon."

Men, love your women. Love them dearly. Treat them with as much respect as you would give the Mother of God if she materialized in front of you. Don’t be a bossy show-off and try to spout your knowledge in front of her—she won’t be impressed. Politely offer to help her, and if she refuses, don’t get pouty. She’s trying hard too.

Lastly, hold onto your hopes for your future. Don’t think you won’t find a good husband because you’re not pretty enough. Don’t think you won’t find a good wife because you haven’t got what it takes. These are the Enemy’s lies and will only cause you to keep settling for less and less, and the lower you aim, the uglier your target (if you know what I mean.). Trust that Jesus will provide for all the needs of your soul, and that whatever road He takes you down will be what is truly best for you.  

Always, aim ever higher. Satan hates that, because he is eternally damned to remain in the utmost depths of despair and indifference. A priest once told me this:

 “Satan will constantly belittle you: ‘You pathetic particle of detritus! You blot of mustard on the sandwich of life!’ Don’t listen to him! You need to stand up and kick his ass!”

My friend also had a sign in her bedroom which read: “Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says ‘Oh, no! She’s up!’ ”

That goes for the men, too.


No comments:

Post a Comment